Losing is not the end. Giving up is what ends everything

BLOG !!

2010-03-13T12:14:00.001+08:00

This Blog Is UNDER MAINTENANCE. Due to technical problem, I regret to inform you that this blog is under heavy maintenance. Thanks for your up most understanding.

blah blah blah

2010-01-13T10:54:00.003+08:00

I'm out of topic to blog. Seems to me my life is not as interesting after all. New year has been great. 2010 is a year to look forward. Of course I'm not going to be politicking on my blog thou there's a lot of religion issue going on in M'sia.

I went out with a friend of mine which she forgotten about my age and she thrashed me in pool with her beloved B. ( sorry can't seem to spell his name out ) lol. Quite cool hanging out with you guys that day.

I'm stressed at work. Is been long since I feel this way. There's like dateline dateline and dateline. Normally by 5 something I'll be on my way home, but these days I'm still slogging in office during that time.

I think I'm going anti-social if these work stress continue. So lazy to entertain people thus I'm choosing people to go out with. I do not want to waste my precious time for people who are just not worth it.

Life is crucial as usual. We need to live like there's no tomorrow. Of course when I say that it doesn't mean that you only have fun. Do things that people remember you and value you. I need to give a long lasting impression to people. SO I hope everyone will work hard for their future.

Ahh.... forgotten.
To a friend. Sometimes is good to let go of the past. The past is the one that makes you strong now. Thus, don't need to dwell on it. Of course feelings will always be there, but you found a great guy. So, live your life well. So I won't be seeing you soon as you'll be busy with your boy boy ;p lolxx

Seems to me my brains are shut down except for work related.

:)

First post of the year

2010-01-02T20:47:00.002+08:00

Happy new year everyone. I'm sorry that I have to wish you guys so late. I was quite busy for few days. Way to start my 2010. Had countdown with family. Is been years since I spend time with my family no new year eve. Something that I plan to change and YES I was at home thou I FFK a lot of people that day. On the 1st, I spend with 2 friends. Well, did enjoy myself till one of them called me a player :( . Thanks to what you said I won't go out with you anymore :p Thanks for the shirt, I like it a lot.

Today is an interesting day to begin with. I started my day waking up at 7 in the morning. Went for breakfast, that journey to Kajang. My first paintball in years ended up bruises on my body and my BUTT. Blardy shit, hurts like hell. Have 2 small red dots at the back now :( My hand my leg, my body is like numb right now.

Well, I cook up some resolution for 2010 : My list :

1. Fix my damn teeth.
2. Be hardworking at work. Discipline and attitude.
3. Honesty is the best policy.
4. Try to finish up my debts. YES. I AM FREAKING POOR.
5. To get a new job. A Job that can see my full potential.
( Legal job, don't even you guys think to ask me to be a swindler )
6. secret
7. secret
8. secret

Well, I hope I can achieve something in 2010. I want to be somebody and I need to start somewhere. Thou is the 2nd day, I would say everything is going well as I planned. Trying to be more responsible. I wish you guys all the best in achieving your resolution this year.

Happy New Year. Lots of love, - R a y m o n d -

Here Am I Babysitting =D

2009-12-29T01:43:00.005+08:00

Naughty nephew. Only know how to cry and take side with people who loves him. I like this set of pics :) All the way I take care of him. He only knows how to cry and bully me. I wonder next time how would I treat me Kid :x

Resolution.

2009-12-27T20:51:00.002+08:00

Christmas has passed, and new year is approaching. I was wondering what I did achieve and did for this year. And the answer I had is NOTHING. Well, I gain some friends and I lose none. Way to go for this year.

Christmas was boring. I was practically stuck at home for eve. No plans, no party, no socializing. And all my friends are busy partying. First time eve at home. Gosh !!! I have been home for most of my nights till I do not know what is night life anymore. Well, is a good thing, but No-No, Had been hardcore watching dramas at home. Finished Long Vacation, Beautiful Life and even Liar game. Slept was the only think I lack off.

As usual, I'm home. Nothing seems to astonished me anymore. Wherever I go or whoever I'm with, I'm dead bored and hook on to my games. I'm like an anti-social guy already.

I think my New year eve, I'll be stuck at home and be with my family. I wonder why last time I always party outside during an important day like that. New year eve is like a sacred day where you spend time with your family. Is like going to a brand new year with your loved ones. Well, I reckon most of you guys to stay at home and celebrate with your family. For once, stop the booze :)

I have some new resolution for 2010. Talk less more action. Haha, and try to be more cool and not more bullshit from my mouth. I think is time for me to keep quiet and listen and absorb good advises from people.

I'm trying to be a changed person. I hope I can.

Dreams

2009-12-21T00:20:00.002+08:00

What does dreams means to you ? I seldom dream but for the past few days I have dreams, dreams that I do not want to remember. Does dream really means something or is just a dream or perhaps a precaution that you have to take ? I'm confused about my dreams. Seems to me my dreams is about me and sometimes with friends.

Once I dream that I was all alone, where there's no friends in this world. All are strangers to me. And I realize that being alone is not so bad. Is like trying to find a different world to live in. Or perhaps, is my dreams telling me that I should stay alone or telling me that since I have shut all my friends out, does it mean I'm going to be lonely ? Well, it was just 1 dream. The rest of dreams are unbearable.

I dream of someone. Someone I know. well. Can't really write it in words. Is so erm. Ironic. first time dreaming about a specific person.

Hope I wont dream bad dreams anymore.

Random Crap !!!!!

2009-12-20T23:03:00.004+08:00

I can't believe myself, that I actually been home early for the past few days. Gosh, where did my night life went. Well, everything seems fine to me. Enjoying some korean dramas lately.

I'm kinda bored going out already. Seems to me whenever I go I'm DEAD bored. So if you do not want to be bored, don't even bother calling me out :) I think I'll hook on my Iphone during yc session. Lol.. So don't blame me by playing with my Ip :)

I have lots of things to blog, but seems to me this site is not secure enough to blog. I can't express my thoughts here. Anyhow all I can say is I felt like I have no more friends except a few. I have been hanging out with the same group of ppl for past week except saturday which we went for badminton than STEAMBOAT :) Muahah, Nice... got bbq somemore.

Shit, I totally forgotten about today. Supposed to go red box. Darn. I overslept. Sorry guys. Don't shoot me when I see you guys next time yahz. Thou, I won't be seeing much of you guys. But I will try my best to come out with you guys k :) And next time please don't ask me sing that stupid song. I rather be the pompom girls ;p lolxx

- tonight is the night, I will let go everything I have -

2009-12-17T10:38:00.001+08:00

Thanks for everything. I think you have just lost me. When my doors are shut, I don't even need a friend like you.

Somethings have to stop !!!

2009-12-17T01:29:00.001+08:00

I guess I need to stop going out with girls who are single, I can't take it where I'm emotionless towards them. I hate being emotionless, is like I lost all my feelings and emotions towards anyone. Kinda weird feeling where I find it is uncomfortable for me. And I Kinda hate it when I'm asked :

1. Are you attached ?
2. Why are you single ?
3. Are you homo ?
4. When was the last time you have a gf ?

Hm..those are the question that I was asked, so I'm bored of it. So I'm not going out with anyone who are single for temporary :) I'm lucky enough to have friends who are attached already. Is much more fun hanging out with them :)

I got an Iphone. A white in colour IPhone. But I do recommend you to think twice to get the device as the battery consumption are pretty fast. Of course there are plenty of games. But if your not a e-mail person, please don't even think of getting an Iphone just for games and online. There are plenty of device out there that is far more better than iphone.

- what is change ? I fear the worst is yet to come. So make it better for yourself. -

Time wasted !!!!! Rubbish post.

2009-12-15T02:02:00.004+08:00

I have wasted my entire weekend of slept due to a book that I have should not wasted my time on. The story lines was same. DO not, I repeat Do not buy Dan Brown latest edition of The Lost Symbol. I got so disappointed with the ending. It doesn't have the touch. Sad. Now I'm going to read Mitch Albom : Have A Little Faith. Hope this book would be fruitful as Mitch Albom past few books were about life learning.

So many things happen. Lazy to blog bout it. Lol ....

So to apologize for not blogging, I did a small meaningful words :) Coz it doesn't seem to rhyme as a poem to me :x lolxx :) enjoy

I have found a friend, who never lets me down, and understands me,
Reaches me every time I fall, You're a best friend that I will never forget.
I know you'll never always be here for me, But I believe your a part of me,
as your heart is always here to stay.

I will always be watching you, and standing next to you,
I can't promise that I won't leave you, I can only promise I will always support you,
As long as you believe in yourself.

If one day I leave, I bid my farewell to you now.
Don't ever say I never did.
If time permits, I believe faith will bring me back to guide you when you're in dark.

Here I vow, you'll be kept in my heart, always and forever.
If I ever break a promise I made. I won't live to see another day.
You have my love. That's how I value our friendship.

- Take life as is it, know your ability and make it fruitful in your life -

Therapist !!!!

2009-12-08T02:18:00.001+08:00

Thanks for making me feel better :) nice chatting with you thou is through msn :)

2009-12-08T01:21:00.002+08:00

A post that shall never be named. I'm not sure why I'm feelings this way. I have been super stressed for the past whole week till I'm very depressed about it. I've always been a good actor to hide my feelings. I always act happy. But Am I ? I'm not sure. I don't feel like seeing anyone this week. I just want to be alone.

Is not that I want to be anti-social. Anyhow I guess is time for me to let go the responsible to help any of my friends anymore. Seems like some don't even appreciate it. Well, I did my part. Is time for them to realize it. I'm not going to be there anymore. I am not selfish. I just want to protect what I am.

Maybe I'm depressed right now. Who knows. I might just leave this place someday.

Pc fair sucks. Thou, there's tons of pretty awesome chiqs there. But I was sick. Real sick. I tried to be tough and go to work. But I really couldn't take it. I wish someone would take care of me. But I don't see anyone that cares. I don't feel love anymore.

Good night.

Trust

2009-12-07T02:24:00.004+08:00

You have to trust me. I think this is a sentence everyone use when they really need someone to trust. I have trusted a lot of people before, and I did got betrayed by a lot of people. I have learned to trust no one except myself. I only trust certain people with certain things.

A lot of people think that with just a word Can you trust me or Please trust me, people would trust them. Trust is something you must earn the whole life and can be ruined in just a moment. Can you forgive the people that you trusted the most and they betray you in that particular moment. To be exact, no one can forgive it. We can just let it go, but the hatred and scar is still there.

I brought up this topic as someone ask me to trust them. I believe I do not need you to trust me and I definitely do not want to earn your trust. If I really trust you, it means you are really part of my life. But once is broken, that's it.

A lot of people abused this trust in themselves. They tend to leak out certain information to other people accidentally or purposely to ruin people's life. A lot of misunderstanding and mis-communication occurred is because other people betrayed you with what you told them. So please be careful when the next time you tell people about your things. Once you said it, there's no turning back.

- A close friend would never ask you why. A true friends would tell you why and A best friend would not ask a single thing, and they will always be there for you when everyone walks -

Nice !!!!

2009-12-04T01:36:00.005+08:00

Pictures for you to bright your day :) Happy weekend.

Faces !!!!

2009-12-03T03:18:00.003+08:00

Everyone has their masks on wherever they go. For me, I have 3 faces/masks.
One for the world to see, the other is for my friends, can be what they want it to be. But to you my dearest friend. I am only Raymond. So please do forgive me if I'm harsh on you or scold you. Actually when I think back, I'm no one to say about you. I'm sorry. So forgive me yahz :)

- If we think of life as a journey and consider it to be the opportunity for getting from where we are to where we want to be, we will have a working rule that provides us with both a purpose and expanding possibilities for our lives. - Fred P. Corson

To a very special friend....

2009-12-01T09:31:00.003+08:00

You can't decide the length of life, but you can control how you want to live it.
You can't control the weather, but you can control your mood.
You can't change your look, but you can smile.
You can't control others, but you can control yourself.
You can't foresee tomorrow, but you can utilize today wisely.
You can't win everything, but you can try your very best to achieve that.
Hope everyone can face the daily life positively and always happy...

You don't really need to chase after your happiness, as long as you keep moving, happiness will always be with you.

Just a quote !!

2009-11-28T12:47:00.002+08:00

- Be happy with what you have now and appreciate it, don't ask for more, or else too late to regret when you lose everything. Faith comes only when you appreciate it, don't depend on it. -

I find there's a lot of sad people out there. I'm too lazy to explain already. I find that why would people depends on faith to make everything works ? Isn't it stupid if you just rely on faith or destiny. There's no faith and destiny out there if you don't appreciate it or try your best at all. Is like asking why god give you this pathetic life. Life ain't pathetic, is you who make it pathetic. Every time people telling me, if got faith/destiny than only go ahead. OMFG, I find it so so so SAD when people say that. You don't even try and yet you put it to faith and expect everything would come your way. If you think like that you have a FUCKING sad life. Wake UP !!!! :)

After so long....

2009-11-25T03:09:00.006+08:00

<

Darn. Took me all these while to find out the meaning of Wondergirls - Nobody english translation lyrics.

Enjoy this song. Is one of my top 10 songs that I love :)

Not succeeding in life !!!

2009-11-24T10:40:00.002+08:00

I have top 5 list of why am I not successful in life.

1. I belong to a long line of unfortunate people.
2. Fate has never been kind to me.
3. I wasn't born with a silver spoon in my mouth.
4 I was born during an eclipse - I've been eclipsed all my life.
5. I'm a victim of both nature and nurture.

But with all those obstacle, I still have faith and confidence I can make it out there.

- I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way when i messed up my life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity -

Eff post.

2009-11-24T01:04:00.003+08:00

I am who I am, I do not need anyone to tell me to be more sociable and more friendly. Is my kind of thing where I mind my own effing business. Why don't you just mind yours. I like being at home and I like going out with people I want to go out with. So eff off if you don't like me. Accept or just eff off from my life. I am so fed up of people who are fake and hypocrite. I used to be one. I'm tired of having 2 mask wherever I go. Is a new me now. Take it or leave it.

To you ....

2009-11-23T17:39:00.001+08:00

Love… a simple and yet unexplainable word. A word that is more than just a feeling, it’s a state of mind. The best things in life can never be kept, they must be given away, A smile, A kiss, and Love. To love is not to look at one another, but to look together in the same direction.

A broken heart is a heart that has felt love.

There was a time, A person told me that he has the most beautiful heart among us. His heart was perfect in every way. There was not a mark or a flaw in it. Yes, they all agreed it truly was the most beautiful heart they had ever seen.

Then I said to him, "Why your heart is not nearly as beautiful as mine." They were all stunned and they look at my heart. It was beating strongly, but full of scars, it had places where pieces had been removed and other pieces put in, but they didn't fit quite right and there were several jagged edges. In fact, in some places there were deep gouges where whole pieces missing.

They stared at my heart. How can I say my heart is more beautiful?? they thought. They looked at my heart and saw its state and laughed. "You must be joking," he said. "Compare your heart with mine, mine is perfect and yours is a mess of scars and tears."

"Yes," I said, "Yours is perfect looking but I would never trade with you. You see, every scar represents a person to whom I have given my love - I tear out a piece of my heart and give it to them, and often they give me a piece of their heart which fits into the empty place in my heart, but because the pieces aren't exact, I have some rough edges, which I cherish, because they remind me of the love we shared. Sometimes I have given pieces of my heart away, and the other person hasn't returned a piece of his heart to me. These are the empty gouges - giving love is taking a chance. Although these gouges are painful, they stay open, reminding me of the love I have for these people too, and I hope someday they know.

This is just a story, a story which I told my friends, and hoping that my friends would see and understands love. A story that comes true to my heart, A story that I believes in.

Do what you can, with what you have, where you are !!!!

2009-11-21T04:10:00.003+08:00

Is 4.01 a.m, I have just re-read two of my favorite books by Mitch Albom, which is For One More day and Tuesday With Morrie. I like to share with you why I like the books. So I choose the best meaningful words/quotes on the books to share with everyone here.

Mitch Albom ( Tuesday with Morrie )

"We've got a sort of brainwashing going on in our country, Morrie sighed. Do you know how they brainwash people? They repeat something over and over. And that's what we do in this country. Owning things is good. More money is good. More property is good. More commercialism is good. More is good. More is good. We repeat it--and have it repeated to us--over and over until nobody bothers to even think otherwise. The average person is so fogged up by all of this, he has no perspective on what's really important anymore.

Wherever I went in my life, I met people wanting to gobble up something new. Gobble up a new car. Gobble up a new piece of property. Gobble up the latest toy. And then they wanted to tell you about it. 'Guess what I got? Guess what I got?'

You know how I interpreted that? These were people so hungry for love that they were accepting substitutes. They were embracing material things and expecting a sort of hug back. But it never works. You can't substitute material things for love or for gentleness or for tenderness or for a sense of comradeship.

Money is not a substitute for tenderness, and power is not a substitute for tenderness. I can tell you, as I'm sitting here dying, when you most need it, neither money nor power will give you the feeling you're looking for, no matter how much of them you have."

There's a big confusion in this country over what we want versus what we need," Morrie said. "You need food, you want a chocolate sundae. You have to be honest with yourself. You don't need the latest sports car, you don't need the biggest house. The truth is, you don't get satisfaction from those things. You know what really gives you satisfaction?...Offering others what you have to give...I don't mean money, Mitch. I mean your time. Your concern. Your storytelling. It's not so hard.

Mitch Albom ( For One More Day )

There is everything you know and there is everything that happens. When the two do not line up, you make a choice. "

"Have you ever lost someone you love and wanted one more conversation, one more chance to make up for the time when you thought they would be here forever?

Nice quotes from the book :) I do recommend everyone to read it :) Is in my top 10 list on how you see things from different perspective. Enjoy reading it.

- If you don't stand for something you will fall for anything -

Dedicated to smokers !!!!!

2009-11-17T16:54:00.002+08:00

You think smoking's is cool ?

Don't ever start. & Don't even leave comment on this post :)

Monday Hell !!!!

2009-11-16T19:01:00.002+08:00

Too tired too blog. Is 7p.m. I'm still in office. Effing depressed. Meeting whole day, than do labeling on LTO Tape drive till now.
Super tired, exhausted. I even got a meeting this Friday at 8.30 in the morning.
OMG !!!! I need a break. I got 6 days leave. Wonder should I carry forward my leave.
I'm hungry, no one for me to call to accompany me to have a fast dinner. Ahh !! going to be a lonely dinner tonight.

P, I'm sorry. I have to cancel with you tonight as I'm pretty exhausted. Had a tiring day. Need a massage badly. I see tomorrow whether I can see you for lunch or not k. :) Don't angry.

Anyway don't bother to call me later. I'm going to sleep super early today :)
Ah !!

Suddenly miss you so much. Want to see you and hug you :( Such a bad day .....

PICS !!!!

2009-11-16T02:28:00.002+08:00

I like the chocolates !!! Who can do for me please ? I took all this pic at CLUB MED :) So many varieties there. Lazy to upload all :) But all these is the nicest to have .

No More Drinks !!!!

2009-11-16T02:23:00.003+08:00

Ahh !! This is what happen when I drink a sip of beer. Gosh.. I think I have to stop going to bar anymore :) lolxx... This happen in KJ :) Nothing to do :p
And now I'm being blackmailed by my brothers, coz they have some embarrassing pictures of me.

Nice !

2009-11-15T04:56:00.001+08:00

I got this from an e-mail. Very meaningful. Share with your other friends too. If you want the original. Let me know your e-mail add :)

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.!

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant .

Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.

God determines who walks into your life.........It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.

Dedication !!!!!

2009-11-13T13:38:00.001+08:00

To a special friend :)

Here, now, breathing with a certain fear,
However, it reminds me I’m still alive.
My meaning of life, is to search for something certain.

As the days pass I wondered if it’s a mistake for me,
To think about the past that will never come true.
Hoping the light that is shown to me, is a right path of choice.
All I’m hoping is for a better tomorrow.
I will wipe and leave my tears behind,
Now begins my new life.

Truth is something which we are all searching for.
But what, might have been are all vanish.
You left a print deep inside my heart,
It wouldn’t gone to waste,
And I’m certain they stay in your heart as it stays in mine.

First Poem for my blog !!!!

2009-11-10T01:38:00.002+08:00

haha, Nothing better to do, So I did this. I'm trying to make it rhyme. Seems I'm too tired to think anymore. So I just post it up :)

I’m a shallow guy to begin with.
I tried to see how far we could go,
Everyday when I put on a smile, I changed inside of me.
Yet, you always knew what type of person I am,
You knew that I have fallen for you.

You knew I’m putting on a fake face, to hide my feelings for you.
I pretended like I’m someone else.
I know that I have a fake smile on me, among all my friends that have come and gone
You stayed for awhile,
But not for long
You show me what love is and who I am, then you just left
Now I'm lost, in a neverland.

Dreams have been dreadful.
Sitting in the corner of my bed, writing my own feelings down.
Words can’t explain it, it just came to my mind.
I can't define in any words how I feel for you.
What I have done and how childish I was.
The love I have for you is too much to ignored,
the memories of us are too much to be forgotten.

I have friends, I have people around me, but no one know as much as you knew me,
I look into the mirror sometimes, I only see me without you.
I'm glad that you've moved on. I will follow soon.
Before I forget, just want you to know, I'm always here for you.

- Don't treat me like strangers, we're still a close buddy :) -

A long good post :)

2009-11-09T01:32:00.003+08:00

First of all I would like to thank a friend who encourage me in caring about my other friends. Thou there's a few people who msg me this kind of things. Your msg is the best :) So hee hee...

hey i read ur blog
:) p4p3r why so emo these days
:) p4p3r beh tahan jo
:) p4p3r wheres the old ray
:) p4p3r i miss him
:) p4p3r dont be too emo ok
:) p4p3r and dont stop giving advices to me
:) p4p3r cuz they're improtant to me :D
:) p4p3r put it this way..
:) p4p3r when u advice, whether they listen or not, atleast ur advices help brighten up ppl's day by showing ur effort
:) p4p3r and also.. it makes ppl like me think rationally again

Thanks YH :) lolxx, If you need advises, I'm still always here. Will always be a friend that will guide you when things are bad. I may not be the old that can give you solutions but my ideas are kinda good i think ;p You know me. I might not be there for fun. But I'm always there when shit happens :p

Well, my second topic would be HER. I guess there's a lot of question that you guys really wanted to ask. So you guys derive a plan to ask a few people to ask bit by bit to get the whole picture :) You guys are smart. But I think you guys should just ask me the right question. :) So far only 1 person ask a bit of personal question.

So the list of question that I compiled that someone ask me.

Me||Is@ p4p3r What happen between you and your wife?
Me||Is@ p4p3r What happen to the old Raymond I know. Isn't him the happy go lucky guy.
Me||Is@ p4p3r Do you still love her ? You lost her i know is hard but can things be better?
Me||Is@ p4p3r Any chance you guys are going back together :) Keke
Me||Is@ p4p3r Will you ignore her and just leave her even as friends.i think is kind of bad if you do that.youll be hurt..like wut happen btw me and mat.

I know i deleted some of the question as is too personal for me to answer here.

So what happen between me and her is like poof. Gone. End. Shit happens but is a mutual understanding. So I guess is easy to answer that. Maybe I'm not a good bf, and I'm not the one for her. The old me hasn't changed. I'm still a happy go lucky guy as you can see that day. I'm still talking and still joking around. I know you noticed the diff but I did try to hide that side of me :) I do not want to elaborate here as is personal I told you :p
What you mean do I still love her? Of course I Do, No matter what I will still love her, as a friend and as a buddy. I did not lose her, as she's always in my heart and things are better this way as I can really see that she's really happy right now, so things are great now :) Haha... getting back together is not impossible but right now I think is not the time I guess. I can't tell you how I feel here, maybe few years time you can ask me again.
Well, I think I will never ignore her nor avoid her. She's has and always will be my priority. Of course I won't show it in front of her. I will act like she's my buddy. And, I think it doesn't matter as she really knows everything about me. She's kinda forgetful, but it doesn't matter if she forgets the things I told her coz she'll always be my best friends and buddy forever. As you all know I treat my gf like my bestest friend so we can open up and share everything. So of course, if there's any shit happens to me. I will always find her to be my consultant. :p
So yah my hope is she'll be single in the future so I will just work my way up to tell her how much she mean to me. But of course, I would also hope she'll find the right person that treat her good and love her as much as a person can be loved. As you know, as long as she's happy I am happy. I just want her to be happy :)

I think this actually open up my heart a bit to talk at least 20% of what I kept. So I think this is my first and last post talking about her. No more hidden meanings in most of my messages. This is it.

But seriously Mel, Is nice talking to you. Is been long since I chatted in mamak from 11 a.m till 6 a.m. Thanks for sharing and thanks for the ride home. We shall always be good friends. This I vow.

- Friends are like when shit happens, they turn in and offer a hand -

Is her :)

2009-11-06T02:20:00.001+08:00

Everyone has been asking me how my gf would look like ? So without further queries, Here's the picture of it :)

She !!!

2009-11-04T18:36:00.002+08:00

She seems to be nice, seems to be carefree. She's a friend where I met recently. She's naive, friendly and quite caring. It would be nice if there's chemistry within us. But I do not know why every time I'm with her, My heart just shuts out. There's nothing going around us. But you know when someone like you or interested in you, you can just feel it. I'm not being sensitive. She's kinda cute. I'm going out with her in half an hour as she asked me for a drink in a pub. I'm still thinking whether should I go.
( To Go Or Not To Go )

Not to say we've a lot of things in common thou. She just said I make her feel comfy when she's around me. What does that mean ? Hmm... What does she wants to say ? She did ask me what type of girls I like. But I didn't say much. My heart is not open yet. Hmm... Confused... Is clear I'm not interested in her. But I do now know why I'm still going out with her cause I don't like to give false hope. I like to ignore and avoid :) lolxx.. I think most of you know. Maybe I think she's a friend that I do not want to lose.

Oh..yah !!! I found my happy mask. So I hope she don't feel why am I depressed and moody. So she won't ask anything. !!!!

Doom !!!

2009-11-04T17:52:00.000+08:00

Darn, my wish didn't come true. Same shit different day. Looks like I have to put on a happy mask today wherever I go. Darn !!!! Please go away this fuck-up feelings. Don't ask, don't bother. Need to find my happy mask first !!!!! Seems to me now that twitter is the only place I can say out my feelings out. Eesh !!!!

If I only have just 1 wish now !

2009-11-04T00:16:00.004+08:00

If I only could have just 1 wish now, I wish today never happen. The sudden depression mode and the moodyness kills me. Don't want to see anyone, don't want to talk to anyone. Please get it out of me. I don't want to have this type of depressing and moody feelings anymore. No why, what or how. Is just what I am now. Wishing tomorrow would be a better day.

My fav quote of song of the moment by nickleback.

- I finally know just what it means to let someone in to see the side of me that no one does or ever will -

Is it true ?

2009-11-03T17:33:00.002+08:00

Nothing happen much today. Another boring Tuesday as usual. Same shit different day. Nothing significant happen.

So many things I wanted to say. But I'm not blogging bout my feelings anymore. I'm trying to change to be not the sharing type. I find that is good no one knows anything more bout me. Defense is the best offence. Let's not talk about me anymore.

An advise for an old friend. Shean call me today. Seeking advise on something which I like to talk about. LIFE. Past, presents and future. What's the point on dwelling on the past where is already over ? Why must people keep mentioning about their past ? Is true sometimes is the past that bring you who you are at presents. But if you're having a bad past, forget about it. Is time to move forward. Is true, I didn't help you during that particular moment in your life. It is because I find that you're just being in-matured that time. Is not that I didn't want to save your relationship, but I think is you yourself who should do it. You acted like, if it's happen it happens, if it's doesn't happen let it be.

People tends to take things for granted. But I'm glad that you called me and said you were sorry for fucking me the other time. If you think that she's a nice person, you should have grab the opportunity. You can't wait. Now she's single, but you are scared of contacting her. She did ask you out if I'm not mistaken as I was next to her when she called you. I think you should grab this opportunity if you think that you love her and that you would never want to walk away from such a wonderful girl that treated you just well. Is hard to find a person that you love, and love you in return. I think you guys are perfect for each other. Go ahead, I think she's reading my blog now and I just gave you the link. So I hope my posts helps both of you :)

What's the point of trying to find someone better, prettier or whichever, in the end you end up nothing. Gosh !!! Grow up :) Don't ever pretend you don't love her. Is bad. Loving someone is a sacred thing. To answer your question and tell you the truth. I did not even think of courting her. I'm too tired my friend. I have locked my heart. Is hard. You just don't understand. And I don't want to mentioned anything about it. I would definitely consider her if my heart is open :) But don't you worry, she's yours. Haha :)

I'm just wondering, if you guys read this posts. Is our double date still on ? lolxx.. So I guess I have to find a partner real soon to go out with you guys :) A day trip rite ? Just let me know the details. And please, do not call me tonight to talk about this posts. To be frank, I'm really not in the mood to meet anybody or talk to anyone. Good Bye !!@@@

P/s : Good Luck :)

Attention !!!!!

2009-11-02T16:36:00.001+08:00

Monday, a day to be motivated for the rest of the week :)

* Self-respect is the fruit of discipline; the sense of dignity grows with the ability to say no to oneself *

* People often say that motivation doesn't Last. Well, neither does bathing
That's why we recommend it daily *

* Any fact facing us is not as important as our attitude toward it, for that determines our success or failure. The way you thing about a fact may defeat you before you ever do anything about it. You are overcome by the fact because you think you are. *

* Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step toward achieving something bigger and better than your current situation. *

- I give my heart to no one, cause I don't want to waste my time -

Suprising Monday ~~~~

2009-11-02T13:04:00.006+08:00

When was the last time someone actually brighten up your Monday with inspirational talks. I think this is my first posts talking about a good Monday. Well, I went to meet a customer today, he's an old man. So we started talking about business, this and that. Than suddenly he asked me how young am I, So I told him I was 25. Than he said how he wish his son has my thinking and maturity. Gosh, that makes me happy :p

We started talking about life. He gave me a lot of ideas and advises which I roughly know but needed someone to remind you of it. He told me a lot of things, about his son about his ex-wife who left him, about how he suffer thru his young days. And how he got an idiotic son.

He married at the age of 26, they got a child when he was 29. His wife left him for another guy as he didn't appreciate her. His sons is like the blacksheep of the family only know how to spend and doesn't even have directions in life. He told me that as humans and as a young man, he advises me that we should not regret the things that we do. He regretted that he didn't treat his wife right. That's why he told me to do whatever with your best at it and no regrets. He even lecture me on leaning on the things that I believe and the people who are dear to me. People who treats you good is a friend/partner that you shouldn't allow them to leave. Once they leave, you might not have a 2nd chance on that. That I think I believe :) Coz I felt it. I lost my 2nd chance. And I admit defeat. Opportunities comes only once, they will never u-turn unless you make the changes. I'm surprised that a 50+ old men telling me this type of things. Is practically what I normally advise my friends. He treats his wife bad last time, he even have a mistress, but shit happens thou. He didn't mentioned much. He was just naive that time thinking that he can have both women in his life.

His son is a pain in the ass, keep on failing on examinations and life. Booze and ciggie came into the picture. But He's not angry at it, coz he do smoke and drink. He's just upset on how his son manage his life. 25 years old, no direction and don't know what to do. When he said this, I think of myself. Now I do have directions and I have motive in life. To work hard for money and make sure I got money for my wife and family. I told my mum I might be bachelor thou :p

Is very ironic talking to an intellect old men early in the morning. He just make my day. So I did share a bit of my things with him. As I like sharing with strangers coz they gives the best advises and encouragement that a friend will never learn to give. He told me certain things you need to learn to give up. And certain thinks you just need to keep. He explain the wants, needs and priority to me. I guess I have been ignorant to misled myself to jumble up those 3. I used to have diff priority. When I got my gf last 3 months ago, my priority is always her. My needs is like my job, and my wants is to make her as happy as I can. I explain to the uncle why and how I sees her differently. Now, things have change. My priority is my job, my needs is my family and my wants will be the goal that I want to achieve. This sticks to me from now till forever Do you know how fuck-up is the guy's attitude when he wants to move on ? I think Wing understands this part :) Coz we chat till 5 a.m which is 8 a.m her time :) lol Thanks WIng :)

I'm going out for lunch already. I hope everyone had a great Monday just like I had. Thanks for the advise uncle. I knew about it. But you just reminded about it, to let me know how I get where I am. And who I am now. Thanks.

- If you believe in it, do it, if you don't, than don't dwell on it -

I got it from wing wing !!!!

2009-11-02T04:27:00.001+08:00

I got it from wing wing blog... It is So Me right Now..........

I'm scared of loving people because I'm scared of losing them.
I detach myself from people who I think I might lose.

.......

2009-11-02T03:42:00.003+08:00

I wondering why people always treating other people with sarcasm. Sometimes it is so obvious where no one like each other yet just going out as friends, and behind it, we keep talking about it. Why do humans have this kind of feelings like, I don't like him, but I would go out with him. But at the back, talk all cocks about it. Why can't we just sit down and discuss about our attitude and behaviour and not to dwell on so much things ?

I think I've changed. Not in that part thou. I became too realistic, too defensive and too cold. You know what people always say building defense towards stranger ? I think I'm building the defensive even to close friends. I think I really learn a lot, I sat down and think, and I realize that I'm being too emotional. As in emotional always wins my mind. I used to share a lot of personal things to people. Now, If it's too personal I think I will just keep it. My wall has been quite high. I think there's only 1 person that actually broke my wall, and I'm trying to build back my wall. I think I'm being too fragile at that part. I need to learn this. as I like to share things with people. I believe that friends should share with friends.

Sharing is caring, haven't we all heard about this. But today a friend told me one thing, If it's not good coming out from your mouth, just keep it to yourself. I really agree on what she said. I think sometimes I'm being too much, as in talk things without thinking people feelings, cause if I treat you as a close friends I will just say what I think or what I feel. I think some of my close friends knew this. But now things has changed :) I will just keep my mouth shut if things are bad. I think I'm tired of advising people, and yet no one advises me, except for my sms therapist where she's quite positive :) Like talking to her, cause she's mutual and she's very encouraging.

I don't like people who are not close to me ask me about my relationship. Is the last thing on earth I want to talk about. I would say is a thing where I'm trying to forget and treat her as a friend. That's why I keep on thinking about I'm just a friend to her, to make me feel better :) I don't mind to mentioned it here, coz since people who read my blog, is the person who is close to me. So yah. I think you guys know what happen. So I'm single, and I really really really don't want a relationship right now. It takes times to sink in. You guys should understand.

Yes, I do agree with a friend. I lost my direction. I lost the only person that is dear to me. But now I'm back with defense. Rocket missiles and a good armor. So if anyone tries to fuck with me. That's it, I will make their life as miserable as possible.

This is a rubbish post. I'm writing randomly on how I feel now. So don't take it personal. This might be the 2nd thing I will regret. But I doubt so, as it is my feelings which I'm writing down now. What I think and what I do might be diff. But at the end, actions tells everything. I'm not god. I have feelings too. So don't step on my sensitive issues.

I think that is for now. My eyes are too tired from crying again. And no !!! My eye bag swollen is not because I had not enough sleep. Is because I have been fucking crying since don't know when. So stop asking why I not enough sleep. Is fucking lazy to explain over and over again.

Good night and sorry If some of you read this that sinks in to your heart !!!!

Fuck my life, and I fuck yours too.

Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.

2009-11-01T02:24:00.004+08:00

As you ask for... a continuation, Yeah, I receive your Sms early morning, but I couldn't reply you. So when you get the local number there, just text me or call me. I'm at home now, growing fungus. Is 2.26a.m now, and normally at these time I'm usually out with friends. Lol.. Why the hell I'm still at home..!!! Eesh...

I'm wondering should I answer some of your questions that you asked me that day. I have answers for a few, but the rest are too private I guess. Anyway, Let's not dwell on it. Are you trying to see how I write it ? lolxx.. But pardon me, My english sucks.
:)

I got a call from Celine today. So as usual both of us talk about you for an hour on the phone. She ask to meet up, but I'm busy as I need to get my car back from the workshop. She did ask me for dinner thou. But I guess there's something else :p I think you understand. And I don't like to give hope to people. And don't even think of hooking me up with her. I'm not into relationship currently.

To be frank I think you should be happy that you have a friend who really cares for you. From what Celine told me, I think you should be happy if you heard what she got to say. I can't really remember all, as when she called, I just woke up :p Yah... I slept. Don't get shock :) She told me, how to handle your situation, and she thought about helping you out and this and that. Was kinda tired listening to her for an hour. She keeps talking and talking. But she's really concern about you :) That's what is important right now.

I think I shall not talk about your past, Let's talk about your future. I think you need to get back your direction. Try to think positively on what have happen. You can't change the facts right. Since is already happen, acknowledge it and try to think of a solution. I think you've been thinking for the past few hours right :) We can't changed the past, but we can of course change the future. Is in your hands. I'm not trying to say you're fuck-up right now. But I think is a good choice of word to use here. And If you con't being fuck-up... there goes your future my dear friend. You need to let it go, and try to concentrate of your direction. Know who is there for you and know who's the ass and who's your friend. Don't mix with people that brings you down. Always remember, friends plays a very important part in your life. They are the one that when shit happens they are like family who stick to you and figure a solution for you :)

Anyway I'll update you on the phone when you called. Just remind me. I'll write it down and tell you on the phone :) anyway do take care of yourself there. Take care of your health. Celine is waiting for your call. Give her a buzz yahz :) Have fun.

My answer for your question :)

- Do not assume that he who seeks to comfort you now, lives untroubled among the simple and quiet words that sometimes do you good. His life may also have much sadness and difficulty that remains far beyond yours. Were it otherwise, he would have never have been able to find these words to you - :) Got it ?

Dear Heartless Soul !!!

2009-10-31T05:40:00.002+08:00

How this sounds to you ? I think is proper if I called you heartless soul, since you ask me to put this in :). Is 5.44 a.m, and I can't believe this shit I have to write for you. You are going to turn my blog to your personal blog ? Do you want me to put a private permission for you only ? Lolxx.

First Off, please don't say thanks to me. I think if I calculate you've said at least 20 thanks before you send me home that night. I should thank you that night for sharing with me and keeping me safe from your lousy driving skills :) I'm sorry that I was too sleepy to actually really talk to you as my brains wasn't fully functioning and at least I did fulfill my promise to blog it out okay ? . Well... I'm a bit surprise to actually meet you back since is been hmm..how long ? 7 years ? Can't really remember. You've changed to be a big girl :p But still too thin :p

This is my second post I'm dedicating for someone, and not for myself. The other one was for a good friend of mine. And now you. Actually I'm just wondering why is it so hard for us to satisfy ourselves. Sometimes when talking to you actually make me quite sad that you actually think like that. Life is just unfair, have you heard of this, the rich got richer, the poor got poorer. Same concept in life. You just have to fight hard for this. Kinda hard typing this out as you ask me not to mentioned too much things. And stop bugging me in MSN now :p You're about to leave Malaysia for 2 months. Please don't come back. Meeting you once is a disaster which is greater than tsunami. And please don't ever ever cry in front of me. I don't like it. Is one of my weakness actually.

Hmm.. As I said you make me sad when you actually think like that. You can't judge 2 guys to hate millions of good guys out there. I think all the guys agree with me right :p, Just because these 2 assholes fuck your life up, doesn't mean that all guys are not good. If all guys are not good, why on earth you talk to me? ..

******** : Is because I treat you as a zi mui. ---> Is Zhi Mui la.

Fine.... I got your point u ass. And don't even try coaxing me into getting on that plane with you next year :), I want to save money. But thanks for the offer thou. At least you have a point. IS FREE !!!! ... Where is it already ? Aus or Fra ? can't remember.Sorry cause you mentioned this 2 places.

Ah... Life's like that. We can't change it. Sometimes we already know what we needed to do, we just need a little reminder. I do believe that you have close friends that will give you fantastic advises. You see, I'm not good in advising people. I believe that when it's come to a topic of LIFE, I always believe is in your own hands. You control your own paths. Forget about the past if it's a bad past. I always tell my friends this. Why can't you remember the happy past where it brings you to who you are right now. And I'm really sorry to say this that your friend is stupid to betray you to go out with this playboy. Gosh... If I were last time, I would help you to fuck him up :).

You got into a little trouble. Who doesn't ? If you think that your life is miserable. I bet, your not even close. Let's not talk about me. Btw, I like what you said that night. " You got matured ". I though I always am. Well, I'm just wondering why is it hard for you to ignore other people thoughts ? I think you really have to make up your mind this time. No one can help you except yourself.

I find that you're really in-matured wanting to take your own life. Is sad to hear that my friend would want to kill themselves or run away to avoid and forget the pasts. You can't, trust me, No matter if you would go to the north pole. Is inside of you. Face it my dear friend. I'm not the person that can comment on your family issues. I can't help you to advise them on who take your younger sister. As for yourself, I think you can think who you want to follow. Is either or neither :)

Is not that God doesn't love you. Don't blame him. You should thanks him for giving you this opportunity to be matured and go thru with life. This is what people like me would say " mid-life crisis ". Haha, and I thought I was having mid life crisis, till you tell me your problems. Mine not even close. Ahh.. I remembered, Don't say I lie. But I did regret on something. Which will be the first and last. But I won't let you know what :)

You really have to be strong in this kind of situation. Don't be like me as I told you. Face it fearlessly, Don't try to ignore it. It might haunt you in the future. think about the good side. At least you're still breathing. I think the other day Celine said something very positive. I think you should learn to be like her. Thinks that you decided, don't simply changed.

I'm really sorry if I really bore you with this posts as I'm freaking sleepy right now. I need to take my rest already. I shall continue to let you know what I actually think. Since I think that is a sensitive question for you. I have your answers already :) Just don't want to blog this out as is similar to me :p Anyway, enjoy reading my blog since you're going to stuck on a plane for 6 hours I think. I'm sorry I couldn't sent you off. I have no car :) . But I do wish you safe flight :)

Anyway, I really have to take my nap now. I'm blur and sleepy. And my brain just shut down. Good night to you.

P/S : remember your question ? No matter how, We are and we will still be friends.

Bad Day !!!!

2009-10-29T03:15:00.003+08:00

- Sum it up, I had a very very bad day - Worst day of my life -

OMG.... I just realize I left my cue in my friend's car ...SHIT !!!!!

Damn !!! How I wish it was public holiday !!!!

2009-10-27T10:52:00.003+08:00

Ah....as the heading goes how i wish this 2 days is a public holiday. I wanted to self declare public holiday but tons of things to do. I had a great night on Sunday watching MU got thrashed by Liverpool, It was a fantastic superb game where Liverpool played perfectly in every aspects of the game. Their striker and defense are so strong where United can't even penetrate. The game ended at 12a.m with a 2-0 scoreline.

Ah...I was supposed to meet Amelyn around 11 p.m, but she was at Tenji, So I was heading home after the football match, when I was about to reach home, she called. So I was thinking maybe we catch up for an hour or so. So we talked a lot of things, including past, present. - Secret - lol ... Our talk last more that an hour or so. I reach home by 4. So Monday I got fuck for being late, and I was sick when the afternoon came. I was too sick, barely could open up my eyes, so I went home at 5 and slept till 11.30p.m

I was hungry when I woke up, SO i went to my MSN and trying to find people to eat and chit chat. So I saw Jennifer online. First thing I ask her was Are you in office ? and first things she ask me is, See my wall, I want a reply. Lol... So she said she was in office, So I told her I'll be seeing her over supper. At first she thought that by 1, she will head home. I thought the same too. Darn, both of us chat till 4a.m. From the scenery of the lake, till going to the car and chat cause too many mosquitoes. Can't take it. Both of us are scratching like an ass.

And here I am, In office, Barely could open up my eyes. I need to sleep. I think I'm still sick. Guess today I'll be heading home soon to sleep. But first I need to settle my appt asap. Wish me luck on surviving the day.

Take care guys..

Oh yahz...My cousin is in another hell hole today ;) Best of luck to her too.

A song dedicated to my cousin.

2009-10-26T16:00:00.002+08:00

The Lyrics are below. Sing along all :)

"Almost Lover"

Your fingertips across my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind
Images

You sang me Spanish lullabies
The sweetest sadness in your eyes
Clever trick

I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
I should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

We walked along a crowded street
You took my hand and danced with me
Images

And when you left you kissed my lips
You told me you'd never ever forget these images, no

I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
I should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
So you're gone and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine
Did I make it that easy
To walk right in and out of my life?

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
I should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do.

Lol... Kelly should like this song. As she said, sad songs make her more happier :) That's why her phones are full of sad chinese songs. haha

Sharing is Caring.

2009-10-26T11:20:00.004+08:00

I got this e-mail from my cousin ( Kelly ). I think she's battling in CIMB today :p good luck to you girl :) May you get thru today safe and sound :) Don't let your emotional clouds your mind. We have to put emotional behind and think logical. :)

So here goes the mail. 44 lessons in life.

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good. ( Heck, Life's ain't good )

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step. ( The Next small step is like a big step to me )

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. ( Well, ain't all of us hate someone )

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch. ( But my jobs pays )

5. Pay off your credit cards every month. ( Don't even get one in the first place )

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree. ( That's why I always yield )

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone. ( Speechless )

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile. ( True True, It makes me happy )

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present. ( NAh !!! )

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger. ( I rather be killed )

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ''In five years, will this matter?".

26. Always choose life. ( haven't we all )

27. Forgive everyone everything. ( No No No !!!!! )

28. What other people think of you is none of your business.. ( It matters )

29. Time heals almost everything. Give time, time. ( Time is healing but is hurting at the same time )

30. However good or bad a situation is, it will change. ( Will it be worst ? )

31. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

32. Believe in miracles. ( It doesn't happen to me now :) )

33. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

34. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

35. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

36. Your children get only one childhood.

37. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

38. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

39. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

40. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

41. The best is yet to come.

42. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

43. Yield.

44. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

Enjoy life, forget the sadness ~~~~ Look at the future my fat cousin :p

Ahhh..........!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-10-25T14:51:00.002+08:00

I can't believe this. I'm at home waiting for friends to pick me up. Desperate measure to be out from the house. I'm growing mushroom and turn out that is stale and fungus are getting all over me. I need to get out of my house. I can't stand being in my room. Like a dungeon to me now. If only I have car, I could go out and have a drink or maybe read a book outside. Now I miss those days , where I was sitting alone at Starbucks, enjoying my hot hazelnut coffee without cream and a book. I finish my John Grisham book recently. Now I'm waiting for the latest Dan Brown book paperbag version. Too pricey to buy the hardcover. If I not mistaken the title of the book is The Lost Symbol.

Please......could anyone just get me out of my house? Is alright even if you could just send me to a place where I can sit down and enjoy alone. I don't feel like socializing today. But haihz... without a car. What can I do. ?

Oh..my beautiful car, where are you when I needed you the most.

Life's Suck. FML.

Frustrated !!!!

2009-10-24T18:29:00.002+08:00

Ahh...so hard to go out without a car. I called the other day, they say it might take at least another 1-2 weeks. OMG !!! Now I have to rely on my friends to pick me up. If worst come to worst I'll be staying at home growing mushroom.

I got lots of Chocolate from YH, Haven't pass to 1 man 1 tar. Haha.... Is chocolate frenzy these days. Haven't anyone heard before. Chocolates cures sadness. Guess I'm a happy man right now. Lol... I'm heading to my ex-boss house later. Hope to meet everyone there since is been long I met them.

I had a great dinner yesterday. I think the place name is kissaten. Went out with TL,Sam and her 2 friends. My food sucks, but I think they enjoyed theirs. Sigh. Forget to take pics for YH to see.... Ahh...sorry Yh :)

I'm lazy to post anything today. Need to figure a good way to write a good post :p hor yh ...you waiting for a good post about the dinner :p ?

- If one day I leave, rest assured I will come back as a friend -

Should ?

2009-10-22T23:04:00.001+08:00

Should I or should I not ? Hm...a question I'm thinking. If I should I would be going for a long long time. If I should not, I may not have this opportunity anymore. Hard decision. Haihz.

Ideas, Advises ?

2009-10-21T23:44:00.002+08:00

I met a new friend today, we were talking about the complexity of women in a relationship. Thus we came to a conclusion where why women fails to understand why men can't understand women. So here is what I think :

1. Is not that we're not trying to understand women, is just that sometimes women doesn't know how to make us understand them. You guys gave the wrong approach.

2. We're humans, we make mistakes. Do remind us time to time about our character and attitude. Don't expect us to change the first time you tell us things. Changing needs time.

3. Men are strong and ego upfront, but their heart is fragile. Take good care of us. Our jealousy is pretty high although we don't show it.

4. Controlling is not part of relationship. Understanding one another and treat one another equally is the goal.

5. We're not psychiatrist, we do not know what you think. If you have anything to say, let us know upfront. We do not like to guess what wrongs we did.

6. Relationship is part of life. We forgive each other. Not dwell on the problems but focus more on the solutions.

7. Love is not blind. Hiding and lying is not part of the solution. Guys are mostly responsible for this part as they always lie and hide form their woman.

8. We do give you our full attention. We're willing to sacrifice our friends for you. Don't make us choose.

9. Freedom is to both worlds. Men shouldn't control a women freedom. If she's your, she will be yours.

10. We don't like it when you take us as a rebound. We're not a toy that you think you can moves around. Same goes to guys who simply like to have a gf. Is bad to play around with fire.

I'm not sure whether it applies to all people, but I think majority guys will agree with me. What you guys think ?

- If I ever treat you and act strangely in front of you, i want you to know that my love for you will never die -

What is life !!!

2009-10-21T17:24:00.002+08:00

Life is like what I am experiencing right now. First of all I have no car right now. Than a not good career that leads to no money, when you do not have money, you do not have a gf. Simple as that. Life's like that. Well, everything falls under place. My car is in hospital for 2-3 weeks. Seems to me it needs a major beauty change. Currently my car is the only think I left. Without it, I am nothing. :( sad sad
Damn...so many hidden meaning in this post !!!.. Lol..

Devastated with life !!!!!

This is a good shot !!!!!!

2009-10-20T20:38:00.003+08:00

Me & Alvin at Club Med !!! I think it was taken by Jenny.

Quote of the day !!!

- We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly -

A post that I'm having problem to start !!!

2009-10-20T00:09:00.002+08:00

Frankly speaking, I do not know how and where to start with this post. Is kinda hard thinking of what to write and how to write this. Is going to be a long post. A post that might insert something to your brain or even whoever that reads it. First off, my vocabulary sucks, mind me, grammar are off. So don't bother complaining about the way I write.

This few weeks has been up's and down's for a lot of people. I think I'm addressing to the few fellas who will read my blogs except for the new people who is going to read this post. Life's tough. Heck, we all know it. But there's certain things in life that we cannot change which is the facts. We have all been thinking what is wrong and what is right. Well, a matter of facts, there's no right and wrong in the things we do. Is just should we do it, or we shouldn't. When we do it, don't you ever regret it. As opportunities doesn't come second chance.

You broke up from the very guy you love a few years back. It was a tough decision and I think you've been dwelling at it for quite a moment. I do understand this feeling. you were saddened in a way but you make up your mind. After few months, you got a crush. This crush is not the crush you wanted at all. But she was the one that you love. You've been thinking why must she be a girl, why can't she be a man that treat me just right. Well, girl. Let me tell you this. I broke up. Although mine was a short period of time. The duration I was with her, I was taught to love, taught to share and taught to trust. She was the one that I plan to marry at first, but things went awry. I think you shouldn't dwell on why you choose her over a guy. Did you know that how hard for someone to search for a partner that can love each other and forgive each other. You've grown up. Doesn't matter who you love, as long as the person that you love, love you back and give you the comfort that you needed. Not everyone can give you this type of feelings which makes you want to spend your whole life with. If you find one, stick to it. Put aside your religion, your parents or even your friends. The person that going to be with you for the rest of your life is your partner. You need to know that. You can have sacrifice for each other. But not sacrificing your own future or her's. I think you understand what I'm trying to say. Don't let go the person you love. As you'll never get them back. Do you believe in second chance ? What ever happens, happens. Look at the future. Don't look at the past. The past is the one that can make you stronger and not repeat your wrong-doings. But dwelling at the past, it can be a pain in the ass.

I do know there's a lot of things that is happening around you. Which is bad and going worst. Don't you believe that the world is very fair? No matter how, the bad things will go away and the good things will be flowing in like what your current situation permits. Sometimes is hard to explain things to you on the phone or msn, but I felt happy that at least I got a call from my friend all the way from Australia. I think we chatted quite long, and my bills should be going ka-boom.

You are young. Don't waste your future. There's a lot of things that you can give up but not your future. I think you saw what I write about disappointment if you skip your examination. Is your own future. If this type of small things you can't cope with. How bout in the future. There will be greater obstacle ahead that you'll face in the future. Hell, all of us will face this mid-life crisis thinks. Is when you just feel like living your life a lie or just jumping down from KLCC tower aiming at the most expensive car you can find at the bottom. But facts is. life is like a poker. You've dealt a hand. Can be a good hand or bad, it depends on how you play it. You play it bad, there goes your miserable life, if you play it good. Well everyone knows. So is simple. Bring yourself together, no matter what kind of situation that you face you'll definitely find a solution. Be cool and calm. Don't act in-matured and don't panic. Remember, parents are there for you. i believe all your friends can give you good advise. Listen to advise. If it's bad put it aside, if it's good, evaluate it.

This post is like reminding our self about life. A lot of us here, ignored a lot of things. We can run away from everything but we can't run away form our self. Focus on the solutions, not dwell on the problem.

Typing this shits, reminded me a lot of things that about my own life. Is not like I regretted anything. So far there's only one thing that I regretted. Which that will be the first and last. As I always believe, Don't cry because it ended, smile because it happened.

I am here as a friend. I may not be the friend who can count on if you needed help. But as long as I'm your friend, you can always seek me for guidance. You know me well, I don't give second chance. So please do appreciate our friendship. You owe me starbucks and dinner :p

Anyway. I do no want to be long-winded in my post. So live your life well.

- This is the last time I will fall, to the place where it fails us all -

My Horoscope - Is this really really true ?

2009-10-16T17:29:00.002+08:00

VIRGO - The One that Waits

Dominant in relationships. Someone loves them right now. Always wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Loud. Loyal. Easy to talk to. Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. A pushover. Loves to gamble and take chances. Needs to have the last say in everything. They think they know everything and usually do. Respectful to others but you will quickly lose their respect if you do something untrustworthy towards them and never regain respect. The do not forgive and never forget the one and only.

I think the last part is very very true :)

Updates !!!!

2009-10-16T16:25:00.003+08:00

So many things to update since I came back from Cherating, Club Med. There are too many pics, and I'm too lazy to upload. Have been hanging out everyday. I went for 2 movie yesterday. First movie was White Out, starring Kate, watch it with my buddy. After that find Chris and William yam char. Than decided to go for Surrogate, starring Bruce, a so-so show. The best is I went to 1U for White Out and MV for surrogate. Both also sitting middle row. Both also same cinema Hall 9, and both sittings next to us are empty. Creepy for me. Is like deja-vu.

I'm sorry that I have not been updating as I was taking a time-off to thing about my future. It hit me hard that I'm being realistic right now. Seems to me I'm making more enemies than friends. I think I have to stop letting my emotions to overflow my mind. Sometimes I just can't help it. I'm the type of person that let to share my feelings with certain people. Seems like now all I want to share is only to myself.

I'm beginning to enjoy my life. Maybe I have lost all emotions in me. But is kinda fun leaving this life. All I know is to work hard, get more money and play hard. I want to be free and I'm not learning to love anymore :) of course until the right one come. Well, is going to be a long search till I find one.

I think this will be the last post of me talking about my feelings and emotions. Next posts will be updates and more updates and pictures !!!!!

Golfing !!!

2009-10-16T04:38:00.002+08:00

First time being taught how to play golf, So fun.

He He He

2009-10-16T04:20:00.002+08:00

Too many pics so I will take my time to post it here, FB is a no no place to put my pics as hm... Mum and Sis in FB... Scary. So many pictures that I will get fucked if is posted in FB. lol :)

Temporary Not Blogging

2009-10-14T14:44:00.000+08:00

- Pictures worth a thousand words -

A blur Thursday !!!

2009-10-08T10:06:00.001+08:00

Finally, the things that have been running on my mind for a few days has just been settled. I was really thinking about the Singapore job, but at the end she couldn't afford me. Initial discussion everything went well, everything is on my side, is only the pay. She called me freaking 8.20a.m today. Fuck..I'm still blur that time. She told me she's dropping by to KL next week and suggest to meet up. Either in my office or outside. I guess Starbucks would be a great idea.

I went out with my friends yesterday. Had fun. Had Hoegarden at Brussels there. There we chatted a lot of things. But was a bit weird when someone ask me. So what happen to you. This I won't elaborate here. Than as usual arguments and debates came out. Is so funny and dramatic. Gosh... is been long since I hang out like that. First time I nearly laugh till cry. :)

Today would be my last post for the weekends, as I'm heading to CLUB MED in Cherating. Thou is someone I was looking forward to. But my current state doesn't want to go. I don't feel like going as is only 2 guys and 20++ ladies. Hoping to have fun there thou. Maybe I'll snap a few shots and post it to you guys. :)

Hope everyone will have a good weekend. Enjoy the weekend.

I wonder if there will be tsunami that will hit the beach. It would be cool :p

Jobs.

2009-10-07T01:21:00.002+08:00

I'm currently looking for jobs. I don't see any future in my current job beside being a pioneer now and being a so-called senior. I need to find a job where they need my expertise. Doesn't matter in marketing or in IT line. I just need to find a good job with a good pay. Load of stress does not bother me. I have no mood to go to work. Any vacancy ?

I'm having bad headache today, went home sleep. Than went out with Ming. Hmm.. talk about a lot of things that I can't mention here. His things my things. Too private to talk about it here. Than we head down to Pica to meet up with J and Wh. Is been long since we hang out together. Talk about work. Stress here stress there. All of us need a good holiday.

I find it very funny where I do not want to be at home. Yet, I do not like to mix with other people. When I'm alone I feel very lonely. But when I'm with friends, I just want to be alone. Of course I do no think stupid stuff. Just feel like being alone. Not to say I'm backing out of this world. Just that I would want someone to understands me. I think I'm changing, but do now know to which direction till I change completely. Will I become cold? I wonder.

This is not a emo post. LOL.. is a good post.. Oh yahz... Ciggie price increase to 9.30. Fuck it. Going to stop anyway once I start my teeth treatment. Need to do it. For my own sake. I think I can't sleep tonight. I need to settle something on my thoughts. Once is settle I'll have a piece of mind.

I miss my wife. Wonder if she miss me too. Lol... I guess not. Taiwan's a good place to think and enjoy. Hopefully she'll know what she wants in life. Since I think all of us are searching for it too. Kelly you too right ? lol...

Good night peepz.

- hoping tomorrow will be a better day ahead -

My Current Top Playlist !!!

2009-10-06T01:00:00.002+08:00

Is By ..... Byul : I Think I .....
Is a Korean song. But if anyone have it. Here are the English translation for you to enjoy the beauty of the song :) The Lyrics are awesome.

It can't be
It's not possible
That's what I told myself
There's no way that I'm in love with you

Its just jealousy
I must be lonely
I tried fooling myself
but now I can't hide it anymore

I think I love you
It must be true
Cause I miss you
When you're not around
I can't do anything
I keep thinking about
Seeing how things are---I know

I'm falling for you
I didn't realize it
Now I need you
All of the time
I now understand that
Somehow, you've already grown deep
in my heart

They say we're not suited for each other
That is better for us to be friends

From one to ten
We can never agree on anything
How can we be in a relationship?
When everyone says we cant last?
Their words have been in my thought
But I don't want to think about it anymore

I think I love you
It must be true
Cause I miss you
When you're not around
I can't do anything
all I do is just think about you
Seeing how things are---I know
I'm falling for you
I didn't realize it
Now I need you
All of the time
I can now see that you've already grown
grown deep in my heart

Why didn't I realize what I felt about you immediately?
Why didn't I see you when you were just in front of my eyes?
The whole time you were just beside me all along

Why didn't I realize
that I've loved you all along

I think I love you
That's what it seems
Cause I miss you
When you're not around
I can't do anything
All I do is just think about you
Seeing how things are--- I know
I'm falling for you
I didn't realize it
Now I miss you
All of the time
I can see now
That you've already grown deep
in my heart
And that I've loved you all along.

Nice song right ?

Listening to this for the past few hours. :) lol ... Is going to be 1 a.m. I'm growing mushroom. Doing my reports. Good night world.

Good Jokes !!!!!

2009-10-05T13:00:00.001+08:00

I got this from my old e-mail.

A man and his young wife were in divorce court, but the custody of their children posed a problem.

The mother leaped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them.

The man also wanted custody of his children, so the judge asked for his justification.

After a long silence, the man slowly rose from his chair and replied...

"Your Honor, when I put a dollar in a vending machine and a Coke comes out, does the Coke belong to me or the machine?"

Boring, Busy, Funny, Monday !!!

2009-10-05T12:44:00.002+08:00

Monday, as everyone knows is the most boring day of the week. Gosh, I had a pile of reports I need to hand up today. Who doesn't ? Is the end of the month. I started my day with a cup of Nescafe with my team. Than I'm not at Station One to finish my reports and do some cold-calls.

Something funny happen today in the toilet while I was doing my business.

Alvin : Bro, you in there ?
Ray : Yah Wuzzup ?
Alvin : Fucking smelly le.
Ray : Wtf, I'm having bad stomachache lar.
Alvin : OMFG, Damn bloody smelly, what the fuck you doing there. If I'm not doing my face I won't even be here.
Ray : Just fuck off man.
Alvin : Smelly smelly.
Ray : for the love of GOd, Please let me shit in peace.
Alvin : .... He Left.

Lol... My gawd... Can't even shit in peace. And there we were in the toilet talking about work. OMG... is life really that lifeless where everywhere we go we have to talk about work?

My wife called me yesterday night. We talk about here and there partially about life. That we should appreciate things around us. I guess she gotten more independent and matured since she went there. I'm happy for her. I do hope that both of us can live a better life in the future. Of course, Kelly, I Hope you live a better life too. ;p lolx.

Alright. Have to do my report already. Hoping today is a good day for me.
-Cheerios-

Missing you.

Is the Weekend !

2009-10-03T01:36:00.002+08:00

Friday is always the day for me as the weekends are just hours away. But today is not a good Friday for me. I got stuck in a customer place for nearly 4 hours. Than I went for lunch. Had to rush back to office for my next appointment. I fell down at the office when I'm about to take my car. The stupid drain. I was in pain. My stupid leg felt numb and can't even drive for 10 minutes. I got bruises on my right leg. And is swollen. How to get rid of it. Walking is a pain for me now. Gosh !!! Hoping it will healed up soon.

I'm home early today. I didn't want to hang out late as I want to train myself to sleep early. But after my bath i feel super hyper energetic. Please let me sleep. I'm waking up at random hours at night. I need sleep. So I'm going to off my phone tonight to sleep.

I'm waiting to watch the Chelsea vs Liverpool game on Sunday. Supposed to be a good match. I'm going to cheer for Chelsea. But I think it would be a draw game. So hopefully everyone can see those beautiful goals that both side are going to score.

I feel like being alone nowadays. I do not know why. I dislike hanging out with big groups as everyone knows. Oh Yah !! YH coming back soon and she booked me when touchdown. Haha. I bet if I ffk, you can see me hiding if not I'll be chopped till 18 pieces. Was quite disappointed as she's not sitting for her Finals in coming November. Hope she would change her mind last minute and sit for it. Frankly I rather see her end of the year than this month. So I know that she sat for her examination. But she told me life's is tough there.

I wish everyone happy mooncake festival. Enjoy the weekend. And FUCK the Monday. As Monday is the day that everyone is phobia of.

Have Fun... !!!

- The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with the heart -

Sleepless Night !!!

2009-10-02T02:48:00.002+08:00

Is late. Can't sleep. Work sucks. I was threatened to be sue today. Big deal. Fuck it no time. Lazy to write today. Have been thinking about work. Felt like there's nothing here I want. Want to leave badly and be forgotten. There's no one who understands me or perhaps I don't want anyone to understand me. Or maybe, I don't even understand myself. I'm not lost but I'm just confused what GOD wants me to do. Everything I do, but seems to me my direction keep changing. In work. In life. Same thing.

I went to my friend's dinner party. Met up with this girl which is a nurse. She used to have this crush on me. And she still has. She asked me and hinted to me. But along the way I just told her the truth. I'm tired. I do not want to go through another relationship. Too tired. I'm happy with my life. We can be friends but not more that that. But I did explain. And she accepted it.

Today nothing happen. Life is just as boring as before. Or maybe I just make my life boring as there's no such things as boring unless I myself is bored with my life. Am I ? I doubt it. Who wants to bring me to holiday ?

- I'm an Idealist. I do not know where I'm heading to. But I'm on my way. -

Life !!!

2009-10-01T01:03:00.003+08:00

I'm lazy to write what I did just now . So here goes.

1. Came back from meeting Alvin.
2. Settle a lot of work related.
3. Got me thinking a lot of things, from work to social life to love life.
4. New direction for work.
5. No plan to resign at the moment.
6. I got discipline problem regarding my punctuality.
7. Facial sucks. Face is worst than before.
8. I miss J.
9. So many things I know. Yet why am I ignoring it.
10. Get a life.

Tq. Life is short. Fuck it. Do what you can do and do it. Regret comes when you don't do it. Fail to plan is plan to fail.

Nothing Much

2009-09-30T19:55:00.003+08:00

Today is the same as every other day which is a boring day. Traffic jams has been haunting me all the way from KL – PJ, LDP – NKVE , and even near my house. How I wish the Holiday would be longer, it was so peaceful last week where there’s no traffic jam. You practically fly 180Km on the highway, and there’s no single cop around. There’s always pro’s and con’s for long holiday, as I’ve gotten lazy. The momentum for work is still not there. Past week I have been lazing around, and the first day of work I was late..well, not surprise thou. My usual entrance is between 9.30 – 9.45.
Nothing much happen today except my Uncle’s car broke down in SS15, I volunteer to help and let him use my car for my appointment. Alvin fetch me from SS15, we went to appointment together. We were suppose to go to KNB in OUG, but it took us half an hour to arrive as we took the wrong turn. All the way from NPE to Jalan Gasing to SS2 to Federal Highway to Subang to Sunway and last stop, our customer place. I feel dumb, but time passes fast as we were chatting. I accidentally slipped my mouth that I am lost for direction and I was thinking about resigning. For that, He’s asking me out tonight at 10p.m to meet up and discuss. Well..will update later about it.
I’m going facial today. Seems to me I’m getting uglier and uglier. There’s a lot of pimples on my forehead. After facial have to straight find Alvin at Taipan. Of all places, Taipan, plenty of traffic and no parking. I suggested SS15 but he say is too far for him. I was like… anything goes la. Your call anyway. I should have say, Boss, you wanted to see me yah ? So picked me up . But guess I’ll be driving there alone.
Hoping tomorrow will be a brighter day for me.
‘- Once you lied, you lost your trust in me -‘

Present Day !!!!!

2009-09-29T18:57:00.003+08:00

I have no mood for work. My mood is not in any position to work. Today a lot of people say I look happier since I got my gf. Guess looks are deceiving. I'm depressed. I don't know why I am in that mood. Of course, I don't bother telling anyone anything anymore. Keeping things to myself and expressing it here, really calm my mood down. Do I really need someone to talk to ? I think not. :) lol.. I bought my reader's digest magazine yesterday. Going to read it soon. Today Alvin called me, So I called him back. He told me his house been broken into, and that they took jewelery, his precious watch ( 4 of them in total ) all gone. He's sad, I can hear it form my side and he is pissed. Damn !!! I'm going to have a fuckup day tomorrow if his mood is bad.

Staying at home kills me ......

Keeping you out of my mind is the hardest thing to do.

28th September 2009

2009-09-29T18:52:00.002+08:00

Gosh, my principal from Singapore is down and he is following me the whole day for all my appt. Hate it when someone follows me to appt unless I require any assistance, I would ask for Alvin's help. Alvin is my superior. Ouch !!! I have to babysit him the whole day. Brought him to appt, lunch, dinner than beer. I was so damn tired yesterday. But overall he's quite a nice guy thou. He's not as kiasu/kiasi as some Singaporeans that I know of. Hate it when my boss give me to developed the printer business. It just ruin my day when people ask me about printers.

I miss someone.

Minds are so fragile !!!

2009-09-29T18:31:00.002+08:00

26th September, Time is 1 a.m,

I was taking a rest as I was too tired, My phone rang !!! So I picked up and my mui is crying on the other side. So, I asked what happen to her. She told me the same shit happens again. Her bf got drunk and they started to argue. So I told her to cool down and find the BF and talk things out peacefully, as is hard to talk to each other if both are still angry at one another. So I put down the phone and I went to sleep.

2.42 a.m

She text me stating : He slap me.

5.30 a.m

Kor, Please reserve your time for me later.

I woke up at 10.30a.m, to have breakfast with my other mui. After that I went to find her. I saw her face, reddish in color, than bruises on her hands. That time i feel like finding that guy and fuck him nicely. But I have told myself not to get into others people relationship. Best part, she sided him. I was totally not in any kind of mood to talk advise her, as her mind is only on one side. Me and another friend have actually talk about it before that this type of things guarantee will happen again. The last time we told her about it, she disagree that it won't happen again. Well this time, not only argue, holding other girls hand, shouting at her even slap. Who on earth slaps a girl, if you're a guy. It pisses me off as my parents told me no matter what do not abuse anyone especially woman. I find that the guy lacks of responsible and lack of respect to woman. This is shit. This is the limit. That was what I told her. And she shoot me back.

Mui : Kor, don't because of one of his mistake say bad things about him.
Me : Look at it. If slapping you was a mistake and she could forgive easily, well than there's no point you waste our time here talking to you.
Me : Wow, that that's great you know. Since you enjoy being slap and bruises all over your body. Go ahead marry him.
Mui : .....

Told her so many times that I dislike the guy. I lose respect for him. No matter how rich is him. FUCK OFF !!! You don't deserve any kind of girl. You're just a sore loser. Piece of shit is even to good to describe you at. Shit is better than you. Well.. So, after that I left for dinner as I already promise someone to have dinner with.

Went to Subang to eat. I had lamb, she had seafood spaghetti. Well, we talk a lot of things. She didn't really ask about my wife. But she talk about Amelyn. Gosh!! Until that day only I know something.

After the dinner, I went to meet William in SS2, for our football ritual. We do that every Saturday. At SS2, I met up with that friend who was accompanying my mui earlier with me. Than he told me stuff, that my mui is with him. I was like WHAT THE FUCK IS SHE THINKING !!!! Guess, Love is blind. Am I being too realistic? Gosh !!! I got nothing to say. All I can say is that she's stupid. The world stupidest girl I ever met. Wondering what a jerk ass like him can have so many pretty girls at his side.

Me and K discuss about the situation. We came to conclusion. She cannot be saved. She already died in our heart. Guess, I only can say this, She disappointed me a lot of time, This is the limit. I won't even bother her anymore. I can't be her babysitter and babysit her all the time. I hope she'll grow up one day and realize her mistake. If she ever marry with that guy. All I can say is good luck and I hope he treat you well.

Our bro-sis bond has ended. I'm jsut treating you now as a normal mui already.
Sorry, is just that you've never learn.

History !!!!!

2009-09-29T18:29:00.002+08:00

On this date 18th September 2009,Life has never been so cruel. I need to find what I want. Joey is leaving to Taiwan on the 25th.

You know who you are !!!!!

2009-09-27T23:08:00.001+08:00

Life sucks. What’s new. Work stress as I said is all up to you to manage and Shit happens just different day and by the time you get out of this work mess, you would be thankful cause you’ve learn something where only experience can give it to you. And with this stress, other big things that might come in your way, maybe you would know how to deal with it next time. I think by now you should already know what you want. It is true that individual being might need assurance from their friends to make them feel more comfortable. I think what you need to learn is, whatever decision you make, all your friends will support you.

Well well well, about you prince charming. I guess that both of you needed attention towards each other, and both also don’t want to lose. And both of you are fishing. All I can say is, look at it another way. If he’s the right one for you. No matter how you ignore, he will still be the one for you. What you lack of is attention from him. Since he’s around 30’s I think he would want to find someone who is independent and do not seek much attention from him. Well, do what you think is right. Follow your feelings and make sure there is no regret. As I can see, you will regret if you’re still in your current state where you do nothing. Do something, what’s the point of waiting only. This is 20th century. Relationship goes both ways. Not only 1 way. Think about what I said the other day. You are matured but in relationship you’re still immature. You have to learn. Get a grip. Life still goes on.

Life Goes On !!!!!

2009-09-27T22:30:00.002+08:00

I thought that the day has ended. Kinda wish the time that we spend together will be slower. But seems to me time flies when I’m with her. After the movie, we headed for supper and since we had nothing much to do, we were thinking about heading home. But, on the way home, we make a detour, the detour took us to Genting. We went for Starbucks. I didn’t get to play my roulette cause I’m wearing shorts and t-shirt. It was freezing. She too was freezing. To cut it short, the rest is we got together the next day. Oh yah !! we did take quite a few pictures in Genting. We were exchanging stories and like a get to know each other session. But relationship was the last thing we had in mind.

Things went well for us. We bought rings and necklace chains together. Some sort of acknowledgment that we’re together. First time I got a chain. I was so happy. We were like a perfect couple. I’m not saying that we’re perfect. It is our imperfect that makes us perfect. Everything turn so well, I felt that I was like the happiest Man on earth. Of course in a relationship we do have up's and down's, but because of our understanding and caring that makes us seldom argue. The longer I get to spend my time with her, the more I love her. It was like a dream. A dream which I'm still dreaming and always will.

U = my²f :: Day By Day; I’m longing for you.

2009-09-27T11:25:00.001+08:00

It was June 8th, Monday. I got a call from Joey. She asked all of us to watch movie. Thus we went to 1u for movie with the gang. I went there earlier as I have appointment with the IT resellers there. It manager ( pain in the ass ) . Than Joey came early, we had so called tea time at Chatter Box. Can still remember her wearing the Hat, which makes her looks super duper cute, and when she smiles it was like the sweetest smile I have ever seen. Of course, it was my first time sitting alone with her. It was awkward and I’m shy. We did chat. I was admiring her. After finish with the food, we went shopping, as the rest of the gang hasn’t arrived yet I take this opportunity to get to know her better. Well, I had a great time with her till Sam came. So there goes the moment. After that * Movie time *. It was then that I had an infatuations towards her.

June 10th, I went with William to watch this fugly show ( Drag Me To Hell ) . It wasn’t really that scary, but it scared me a bit. But I did scared the shit out of William at the parking lot there. After the movie, Joey message me asking me how’s my date with my mum, as I told her the other day my mom asked me for a date. But I didn’t tell her it was in the afternoon. So, we chatted awhile, than she said she was going to Ecky-woobee in Taman Tun, So me and William decided to join the fun there. When we reach there, we met up with Joey and her friends. Well, her friends are all quite friendly, and yeah !!! We bombarded her with our sharp tongue. Although she did not show it, I guess she did quite embarrass when we bully her. peace ya !!!!

From there, I realize that I have begin to like her more than a friend. I did not tell my friends cause they have fugly mouth. So I kept it to myself till Chris and William keep on saying that I like her, cause I did talk about her a bit here and there. So I just admit that please don’t let me see her once more, cause I’m really afraid of having a relationship and I told them the next time I see her, I might just fell for her. The truth, I fell for her since the first day we went out which is on Monday.

Well, I’m too lazy to write what happens on Thursday, Fridays and Saturdays. So let’s talk about Sunday, because that faithful day changed my life completely. I went out, of course with Joey, we had lunch together, that I wanted to go down KL to buy some dramas which I just recently watch finish. After that we had nothing to do, So I suggested us to go times square to shop around or perhaps catch a movie if there’s time for us. I was hoping that there will be a show, cause I’m quite excited watching a movie with her. Just me and her. But gosh, the movies that we wanted to watch were either full to too late. So we settle for Hannah Montana. Well, the movie was great. But we were super cold inside the movie theater . And yeah, I have no balls to flirt with her in the cinema. So we were both freezing. I was but I think she’s stronger than me. So after the movie I was really happy cause *ahem* We had a song together, it was sang by Miley Cyrus – The Climb.
( That was the day, all my friends were calling and looking for me. I was watching movie, and there was no coverage. so yah MAXIS Sucks. But thank god I didn't receive their call, if not i'm a dead man walking. )

First post !

2009-09-27T09:10:00.000+08:00

I have been thinking when I’m going to start writing about my life. So many things had happen I don’t know where to start from. My life has been up’s and down. Well, shit happens, just different day.

Well, I will start this with my Love. Something change my life on the first week of June. Here goes the story… I was reluctant to go out with my friends, since I’m the king of 747. It was a sleepy and tired day. Work sucks… Nothing new to that. Well, both my friends came to my house and fetch me out. I was in the mood of FFK them, than we ate dinner and was late to meet up with Jennifer, Veron and Sam. I was taking my time eating while both Chris and William was like asking me to eat fast. So yah… than we head to curve, went to Scarlet. Where my life begins to change.
I met a girl, which is Sam’s friend. We weren’t flirting at first and frankly there’s no chemistry between us. I didn’t even get her name .

I started cheated her on drinks as she said, as I cheers to her, she drank but I did not, thus start the throwing ice thingy. Yeap, she did throw ice on me, but as I didn’t really know her, I put my frustration on William. Yes, I throw the whole bucket of ice to him. The table next to us thought we were fighting and they just left. Oh, By the way, there was a guy next to our table who dance like a chicken, according to Ham and William. After Scarlet, we went to MCD to have supper. I was quite piss off as the nugget that was brought by William was eaten by this girl. So Veron saw my frustration, so she brought another set for me and the best part is I just ate 1 piece, the whole set was gone. Me and Veron was like looking at each other. So I was pissed. Thus, I bought another set, I think is the 12 piece nugget.

After that we were all still hungry, so we went to ss2 Indomie to have 2nd round of supper. There I was actually quite piss of at this girl name Joey but at the same time I saw something in her which I found it very attractive. If you ask, is the way she talk, she’s full of spirits although is around 3 to 4 a.m already, and did I mention she's cute. Well, after that we head home. That was the first time I met her.